Disaster Always Strikes The Happiest
by Seraphic Calamitious
Summary: China has gone mad. She's hurt the one person she needs forgiveness from. How far will she go to get it though? Is it to late anyway? Hand has China got other plans hidden from sight? Will I never stop asking you rhetorical questions? Read and find out. Will update when I can, if I can and when/if I can be bothered. Enjoy! Xxx
1. A Trip To The Hospital

**Welcome if you have come from reading my last story, and big welcome if you've read my past two stories. Thanks! :-D ! But anyway, on to the story!**

**P.S. If this is the first of my stories that you have read, if you have randomly clicked my story, don't worry, I do that all the time. But be warned, I am VAIR crazy! LOLOLOLOL! XD ! But seriousny, I am crazy... Enjoy! Xxx**

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Ravel and Ghastly walked down the corridors, their pace fast. They flung open a set of double doors and sped up a notch. As they got to the medical bay, they looked at each other. Ghastly stopped Ravel as they got to the door.

"Now listen. Don't do anything too rash about this. It was an accident-"

"Accident?! This?!" He pointed inside. "This was no accident, my friend. This was an assult on three people we know very well. By that woman! That stupid woman we thought we could once trust. She was our enemy for God knows how many years, why did that change? Why?!" He pushed past Ghastly and burst inside.

There was three beds, each separated by a thin curtian. In the first bed was Skulduggery Pleasant. Three broken ribs, a broken arm, a broken leg and concussion. The second bed was the worst. Valkyrie Cain, four broken ribs, internal bleeding near the lung, severe bruising on both legs, a broken arm and currently unconscious. The third bed held Seraphic Calamitious with a broken arm severe bruising on the right leg, a broken ankle and a broken rib. And all this damage was caused by a small bomb.

A small bomb planted and detonated by China Sorrows.

After Skulduggery refused to forgive her, she became desperate. She lost her mind, watching her back and not trusting anyone. She became secluded, deluded, then just plain crazy. The one person she didn't want to hurt ended up being blown up with his step-daughter and partner. You can't get any madder really.

Ravel walked over to Nye.

"Oh, Grand Mage, what a nice suprise-"

"Cut the crap! How are they? Will they be alright?"

"As you can see, Miss Calamitious will be fine. Miss Cain drifts in and out of consciousness, and Mr Pleasant is out because we put him out."

"Why on Earth did you put him out? And it better be a damn good reason! May I remind you that you're still being watched after the involvement with Madame Mist. We can fire you too, without a moments hesitation. I'll enjoy the day I kick you're skinny, unidentifiable ass out of here!"

"No need for such profanities, Grand Mage, but I assure you, they will be fine. As long as they get rest and let themselves heal, they'll be fine. And as for Mr Pleasant, he pointed a gun at my head, threatened me every time I tried to help and also tried to punch me, so we thought it was best to put him out."

"Fine, fine! Just keep them alive!" He started to walk towards the door when he saw Ghastly talking with Seraphic.

"How is Valkyrie? That evil sod won't let me see her. Please, look around and tell me if it's bad. Please?" Ghastly stood up and loked roung the curtian, then sat back on the bed.

"She's still out, by the looks of it. Her face has a few cuts and bruises, but they look minor. You should be worrying more about yourself. Have you seen the cut on your cheek?"

"No, and I don't want to. I'd prefer to think of the other two's injuries rather than my own at the moment thanks."  
From nowhere, a small voice popped up.

"What's happened?" It was Valkyrie. Before either Ghastly or Ravel got the chance to see her, Seraphic ran round there and sat next to her, losing the IV drip on the way. The machine started to beep at the side of her bed. Nye came out and sighed, drooping its head.

"I thought she was dead. Shame, really." It walked up to it, hit it and it stopped. He sorted the needles out and left. Seraphic was still sat with Valkyrie.

"It's okay, Val, we're okay. We're still alive, Skul's still alive, we're all fine." Val dropped her head back on the pillow and relaxed her body. She was fighting sleep, but eventually, her eyelids gave way and fell down. She was asleep as soon as they closed. Seraphic gave her a gentle but protectivehug and made her way back to her bed. She sat down and started to read her book.

As things got quiet again, they heard a not-so-quiet voice go "Bloody sod!". Skulduggery for sure.

He stumbled into view and fell onto the end of the bed.

"That bloody thing put me to sleep! And all I did was threaten him... Then try to punch him... And maybe swear at him a few times.. Okay, quite a lot of the time... Nearly everything I said to him was a curse then! But he deserves everything he gets! He betrayed us in the war, dissecting our soldiers, then he worked with Madame Mist, so he does deserve it!" He sat up on the bed, then looked at Seraphic. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just stop worrying yourself." She smiled. "You should get back to bed."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right." He threw himself fowards and stumbled a few paces, before stopping at the end of Valkyrie's bed. "Oh, God..." Seraphic looked down. So did Ravel. Ghastly stood up and tried to get Skulduggery back into his bed. There was a few words exchanged, but Ghastly just mumbled quietly to him.

"But I did that Ghastly, I did that to her... Yes, but if it wasn't for me she wouldn't be here... She should have stayed at home all those years ago... It's all my fault Ghastly... It's all my fault..." He trailed off as he laid down in his bed. Ghastly came back a few minutes later.

"Did you both hear that?" They nodded. "Poor thing blames himself. It's not though, it's China's. He has to realise that soon else he might never forgive himself. But for now we should let him sleep. He's tired and emotional, but he should be in a slightly better mood when he wakes up." He sighed, then scratched the back of his head. "Listen, I'm going to do some work. Hope you get better soon Seraphic." They exchanged a smile, then he left.

"You should go with him. He needs a friend. I'll be fine. Go." Ravel stood up and kissed her head.

"Back soon, okay." He left and jogged up to Ghastly. He was wringing his thumbs. They walked in silence.

"So, Ghastly... Did you, um, watch... The Moto GP on Sunday? Shame about Crutchlow really. He was doing so well in 2nd, but then he crashed out. And only 7 laps left too. Big shame. He's my favourite." He looked over to Ghastly, who was staring at him blankly. "Sorry. Just trying to change the subject. Lighten the mood."

They got to Ghastly's office and parted with a small 'Bye then'. Another minute went by and Ravel got to his office. There was a large stack of paperwork on his desk. He groaned, then sat down and finished them off.

Valkyrie woke up screaming. Seraphic ran to her side and sat down next to her, holding her and talking to her softly. She calmed down and laid there, rocking in Seraphics arms.

"You know, Val, I'm thinking of getting a nickname. Well, an abbreviation. Not Ser, or Raph."

"What about Cal?" Seraphic thought for a minute.

"Yeah, Cal. From now on, people shall only call me Seraphic if there's trouble, or I'm in trouble. Cal. I like it."

They shared some morebanter before the lights were turned on. Skulduggery had his hands on his hips and had his head tilted to show he was quite mardy.

"Excuse me ladies. Don't let me interrupt your midnight chat fest!"

"Sorry, Val had a nioghtmare, so we sat up and talked about some serious things."

"Like a new nickname for you, Cal?" Cal glared at him and he laughed. He complained some more then went back to his bed.

After four days in the Sanctuary hospital, they were fit enough to go home. Skul and Cal escorted Val back to Gordon's mansion. But as they opened the door, they got a crazy suprise.

China Sorrows stood in the hallway, a small silver gun pointed straight at them. "Hello. Back already?"

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**Hope you liked it! I'll try to update tomorrow! Love you all forever! Oh, and if you have requests, please, don't hesitate to send them into me! Bye! Xxx**


	2. At The Gun Point Of A Mad Woman

China's gun didn't waver. She ushered them into the living room and confiscated their phones and any other means of contact. She sat them all down and looked at them.

"Who to point the gun at. Not Skulduggery himself. Let him suffer and see one of you die first." She tapped her fingers on the barrel of the gun then decided. "You." She walked over to Seraphic and pointed the gun at her head.

"You don't scare me, you bitch. You're not intimidating at all, you know that? You just come across as sad and desperate. And very lonely too."

"Cal!" Valkyrie scolded. "She's the one with the gun here! She could easily kill you!"

"No, she won't. And would you like to know why? I know her little secret."

"About Skul's family? Everyone knows that! No offence Skul." He put his hand up. Cal shook her head.

"Not that one! A small, well hidden one. And I wrote it down on a piece of paper to be given to one person and one person only at my will. She kills me, they tell everyone. She can continue her sad, depressing life being hunted down by them." China slid down into a sitting position on the sofa. "Yes, China, you're not the only one who can blackmail people. I'm very good at it actually. I mean, the details that I've heard of the things you do, you've done, and I pick up tips. Then I change it, so that it works. Easy."

"Shut up! I'm still the one holding the gun, and by the time that will is read, I'll be long gone."

"You're never gone enough. You should know that. By the time the will is read, you could be in Jamaica. But there's a Sanctuary there, and Sanctuary's talk. Who wants someone like you in their country? A murderer on three different accounts, three different types of mages. Some would say you could hang for that. Shame people don't hang anymore, really. I'd love to see you swinging there, lifeless."

"Wait," Valkyrie interjected, "three accounts of murder? Why three? I only know of one."

"Ah, you see, that's the whole point of a sercet! Only we know at the moment... Oh, and Eliza Scorn and that idiot, what's his name... Prave! But only us two know the third account, don't we China? And in fact, the third account is two people, so there's technically four accounts."

"Shut up! Just stop! Yes, you're right, there are others, but you can't prove them all! Listen, I'm gona go for now,but you'd better watch your back, because I'll pop up when you least expect it. Good bye and good luck."

She walked out the room, then ran out the door. Cal rubbed her neck and stood up, to then be pushed back down by Skulduggery.

"What was that about Seraphic? What did she do?" Cal shook her head defiantly.

"No. It's my only weapon against her. Just trust me, okay? I'm going for a walk, be back soon." She stood up and tried to walk past him, but he blockedher way and forced her to sit on the sofa instead. "Listen, Skul, I can't tell you , just trust me. And please let me leave, I need air. It's fairly annoying being pushed about." She tried for the third time to get out and succeeded. She grabbed her coat on the way out, leaving Skul and Val alone.

She shut the door. Skul sighed and rubbed his head. Val stood up and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, we can trust her, remember?"

"But we can't Val. You saw her then. She wasn't herself. She has power over someone's life and she's taking all that she can from it. And that's not the Seraphic we know. The one we know is caring. Something's happened to her. And we need her back. Any ideas?"

"Yep. I know who to call. But I still don't think it's right." She took out her phone and dialed the contact.

"Hello, Val?"

"Hi, I need you to come to Gordon's for a few days. Please? It's Seraphic."

Rock smiled. "Of course I can Val."

* * *

Seraphic opened Gordon's door. She had been walking around aimlessly for three hours, thinking. She did a lot of that now. It was unhealthy to think too much. She hung her coat up and walked into the living room.

Rock was stood in the middle of the room.

"Hi, Cal. How are you?"

"Fine thanks. Why are you here?" Rock laughed.

"Straight to the point as always. You never were one for suprises, were you?"

"I asked you a question," she replied, steely. "Answer it please."

"I'm here because Val and Skul are worried about you. They said you were acting differently."

"I'm simply trying to help them."

"They're very grateful, I'm sure. But they think you're going about it all wrong and-"

"Is this another way of saying 'Hop it, we don't need any help'?" Rock opened her mouth to reply, but Cal cut her short. "Never mind, I don't want to know. I'm gooing home. See you later." She left the house, and a few seconds later, she drove off.

"Well,"Val said, "that went well. I did tell you though, it was a bad idea."

"Fine, you come up with the plans from now on." Skulduggery grumbled, then went to the kitchen. Rock smiled awkwardly, then went upstairs to unpack for the few days shewas staying. Val looked around,and noticed a thick brown envelope hidden under the cushion on the sofa. She walked up to it and opened it.

_Val,_

_It helps to have someone looking out for you. You may need this. The envolope contains a number of pieces of info on the four cases of murder China comitted. First degree murders, except the first one.. Hope it helps. I can't help any moreinpersonas it affects me too personally, but try your best._

_Cal. Xxx_

Val looked through the pieces of each had a small picture inthe left hand corner. The first was a pretty woman in her thirties. _Pleasant, Delilah_.Skulduggery's wife. The second had _Crux, Remus along the top_, and a picture of Crux himself. The third and fourth were stapled together. _Calamar, Jackson. Calamar, Lucy_. Both had blue eyes and dark brown hair. Their skin was a golden tan colour. They looked like Cal. Just like Cal, in fact.

Skulduggery walked up behind Val and looked over her shoulder.

"Where did you get those pictures?" He sounded deadly serious. She pointed to the envolope on the floor. He took the Calamar couple and studied them carefully. "Valkyrie, where did you get these?!"

"I found them in an envolope under the sofa. Cal left them! Just calm ? What's so bad about them?!"

"Valkyrie, these pictures here," he pointed to the Calamars, "these are Seraphic's parents."

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**Hope you liked it. And whenI include myself in my stories, it's not because I'm stuck up, it's because I have really weird fantasies thatI can only live on sorry for any spelling mistakes. My laptophas gone really spazzy and gay. Sorry! Love ya all! Xxx**


	3. Lost, Found And Lost Again

"They're who?" Val asked, looking him in the eye sockets.

"They're Seraphic's parents. That's Lucy and Jackson Calamar. She named her last name in dedication of them. But the only thing I'm wondering is that if Seraphic-"

"Cal," She interrupted.

"-knew China killed her parents, why did she not do anything about it?" Skulduggery stroked his chin with a gloved hand. Val shook her head and thrust the pieces of paper into his chest and he grabbed them before they dropped.

"Listen, I'm going to see Seraphic. Can I borrow the Bentley?"

"What happened to the car I got you five months ago for you 19th birthday?"

"It's not the Bentley!"

"No, exactly, it's not a Bentley, it's a much better Chrysler Crossfire!"

"Fine," she grumbled, grabbing the keys. She slipped into her black 3/4 coat, then went out and into the midnight black Chrysler in the garage.

* * *

She got out the car and walked up to the door, eying the windows for signs of life. She knocked, then waited. Ravel opened the door.

"Hello, Val, how can I help you?"

"I need to see Cal."

"What do you mean? She went to your house four hours ago. Remember? She was going to get you settled in again."

"Yes, she came over earlier, but she left an hour and a half ago to come here."

"She hasn't been back since the accident last week. Hold on, let me get my keys. I'll help you look." He turned to leave, but she grabbed his arm.

"No, don't bother. I'm sure she stopped in a shop or something. She did mention something about Tescos." He gave her a doubtful look, but didn't make any further movements.

"Just give me a call when you find her. Please, at least do that for me." She nodded and went back to her car.

After fifteen minutes of driving in the country side, she found Cal's car. She looked around the area and down the road, but there was no sign of Cal. A seagull flew overhead, towards the sea. She followed it until she got to a rocky beach. The breeze played with her hair and ran down her spine. She shuddered and pulled her coat tighter. Someone behind her laughed, and she whirled around. Cal. A very wet-haired Cal.

"Went for a swim, that's all. I love it in this weather. Makes you appreciate the crappy weather more." Val smiled. _Still herself then_. "I know why I'm here, why are you here?"

"Came to find you in the crappy weather."

"No swearing!"

"How is 'weather' swearing?" Cal smiled at Valkyrie. Valkyrie smiled back.

"Come on, Val, let's go and have a nice drink at Costa's down town. My treat."

They each got a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows, and a large slice of chocolate cake. They sat in the window and talked.

"Hello dears." They both jumped, then turned round and saw China stood watching them. "Sorry to disturb your little conversation, but I thought you might want to come with me."

"Why would we go with you China. " Val glared at her. "We know your secret."

China stared at Cal, speechless. "You told them?"

"Cal shot Valkyrie a look, then turned to China. "I had to. Anyway, what I do is none of your buisness. So, come on, answer her. Why would we go with you then?"

"Because I've got this." She opened her jacket and revealed a small hand gun, gleaming with a menacing silver finish. The two girls finished their drink, then walked ahead of China.

"You'll regret this China," Cal threatened. "You know you will."

China laughed. "No, I really won't. I'll get away with it. Because I won't be the one blamed."

"What do you mean?" Val turned to ask her, but China pushed her fowards.

"Eyes foward please, ladies." Val sighed, but did as she was told.

They got to an old abandoned warehouse. It was empty and covered in cobwebs and dust. China locked the door and faced them.

"Right. He'll be here soon, so we'll have to set the scene, won't we?" She pointed the gun at Valkyrie, but Cal stepped foward.

"No, China. She's too young. Whatever it is, do it to me." China smiled and shrugged.

"Okay." She whipped the gun up and shot her shoulder. Cal fell to the floor in pain.

"YOU BITCH!" Val screamed. "YOU'RE MAD!" Valkyrie fell onto her knees and tried to help Cal. China pointed her gun straight a Valkyrie's head.

"You ready? 3... 2... 1..." The door burst open and a gun went off. China gasped and her legs crumpled beneath her. She laid motionless and still, dead. Valkyrie jumped up and ran to the mysterious person for help. They both knelt on the floor next to Cal.

"Cal? Can you hear me?" Skulduggery stood up. "She's lost a huge amount of blood. It's hit a nerve. She'll be lucky to live." He picked her up and took her to the Bentley. Valkyrie followed.

"Don't worry, Val, she's going to be fine." Val tried to smile, but she couldn't. They got into the car and sped off to the Sanctuary.

* * *

The vicar stepped up to the end of the grave. "Earth to Earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, in the sure and certian hope of the Resurrection to eternal life. May China Sorrows rest in peace."

"More likely in hell," Someone muttered.

Only one person stood round the grave with the priest. A plain black dress and veil was all the person wore. The same person who had suprisingly bought a headstone for China. The person who had paid for all the funeral. The person who had wanted nothing to do with her in life. They nodded to the priest as he walked away, then laid a single black rose, hissing as pain struck their arm. Their hand flew up and gripped their shoulder, then walked away.

Tipstaff entered the graveyard and stopped near them.

"Are you ready to leave, Miss?"

Seraphic looked up at him and nodded. "Yes please, Tipstaff." They got into the car and drove off.

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**Oooohhh, what was Cal doing?! Don't ask me! Even I don't know yet! Anyway, hope you liked it. Sorry I didn't update sooner, just couldn't be bothered. Sorry! Thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o mush for all the lovely reviews I've been getting. They all put a smile on my face. Keep reading!... Please... Xxx**


	4. Meeting Him In Strange Circumstances

Cal woke up and rolled onto her back. China's funeral was over a week ago, but for some reason she couldn't let it go. Ravel turned in his sleep and Cal sat up to dodge his arms. She had gone off cuddling for the moment.

Sighing, she got dressed and headed downstairs. She looked at the clock. 4:58am. Joy. She went into the kitchen and poured some milk into a glass, swiftly downing the whole lot in one go. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, then placed the glass in the sink. She grabbed a cereal bar from the cupboard and walked onti the living room, switching the T.V over to Dave. Red Dwarf came up. She sat and watched three episodes then turned it off and grabbed her coat. It was 6:35 and she was was going for one of her 'thought walks'.

She drove to the woods down the road and got out. Her grey scarf was thrown round her neck and she went into the woods. It was misty, but still light enough to see. To find the way around, on the other hand...

Cal walked around the woods and started walking back, having cleared her mind until she felt relaxed. There was still a lot going on in her head, but the fresh air had squashed them down to the back corner. She found the road and followed it down until she found the car. She was a few metres away when she frowned and turned. The mist swirled in the space behind her. She got her keys and unlocked the car, reaching for the handle. Strong hands grabbed her shoulders and spun her around, pinning her to the car. A man with blonde hair and deep blue eyes stared at her.

"What do you want?" Cal asked, dragging her gaze from his eyes and focusing on the man.

"You." She laughed.

"That was the best you could come up with? I know I may look dumb, but I'm actually really clever. You aren't going to pick me up by saying that. In fact you aren't going to at all. I have someone-"

"Shut up. I need to speak to you. Alone." He held her arm and dragged her into a field, ignoring her protests.

"Listen, whoever you are, let go of me and leave me alone!" The man dropped her on the grass, and she stood up, brushing herself.

"I'm sorry to do that to you, but if I asked it would raise too many questions straightaway. Now though, if you want to ask me anything-"

"Who are you?" He laughed at her question.

"Why do they always start with that? Why not 'Where did you get that lovely jacket', or 'Do you go to a gym'? If you must know, I'm Jason Cameron." He had a soft Welsh accent. His leather jacket blended nicely with his jeans and trainers. He looked normal. His eyes stood out the most. Eyes that colour were hard to come by. They reminded Cal of the ocean. Deep blue ripples intertwining with lighter blue waves.

"Nice to meet you." She held out her hand to shake his, but her arm protested. She took off her coat and saw a large red mark on her arm. She looked up at his embarrased face.

"Sorry, I grip too hard sometimes." She shook her arm and put her coat back on. "If you have any more questions, now would be the best time to ask."

"Were you following me earlier?"

"Yes."

"Who are you? Are you related to anyone I know?"

"Cousin to the late and not-so-great Quintin Strom. I want to find who's responsible." She gave him a doubtful look. "Okay, I don't want to find her, but I did want to find you."

"I'm very flattered, and if I wasn't taken, I'd probably say yes. Sorry."

"No. I wanted to find you because you're quite high up in the world of magic. Can you get me a job at the Sanctuary?"

"Why didn't you say that in the first place? It isn't that secret! Why drag me to a field?" He laughed, but it was a forced laugh.

"Listen, I've got to go. I'll be in touch." He jogged down the field.

"You don't have my number!" He turned and winked.

"Yes I do!" Then he carried on into the mist.

* * *

Seraphic sat at the desk i8n her study. She was completing some paperwork that Skul and Val had left out of 'generosity'. She was about to throw it in the bin when her phone rang.

"Hello, Seraphic speaking."

"Is that really how you answer the phone?" Jason.

"Nope," she admitted. "Only when I don't recognise the phone number."

"Listen, can I meet you? Ten minutes in the cafe down town?"

"Okay. But if it's about the job I haven't asked."

"No, it's not. Just meet me there." He hung up. _No goodbye then._

* * *

"So, what is it?" Cal lifted her glass up to her mouth and took a small sip.

"Well, I need to clarify a few things. One, I need a job as a detective. Now I know you have loads already, but I can offer lots to the Sanctuary. Two, I need it to be with you. I know you're a detective, working with Mr Pleasant and Miss Cain, but I need to be with someone I know. And three, could I crash at your place? Please?"

"Woah! For the answers yes, maybe and for how long?"

"Umm... A few weeks?" Cal sighed.

"Fine. But don't come round until later. I need to tell Ravel."

"Thanks! You won't regret this!" He hugged her and left the shop. _Wow_, she thought, _he really isn't one for goodbyes._

* * *

"Hello? Jason?"

"Sir, I'm in. I've got her to ask about a job and she's letting me crash at her place. I'm close to all of them. You should be proud of me."

"I am Jason. Good luck, and I'll be in touch." He hung up. Jason smiled and slipped the phone in his pocket.


End file.
